Friday, June 4, 2010

None Like Jimmy

Jimmy was pretty crazy too, but in quite a different way from Harry. He was in the Cobra Platoon and also a Vietnam Vet and ex-CAV. They say, "Once Cav always Cav." I don't recall ever flying with Jimmy. If I ever had, I doubt I would have forgotten. Harry was the ultimate professional and I recall him as being an excellent mentor and a good role model. Jimmy on the other hand would be the miscreant kid attempting to get you to engage and partake in his villainous deeds.

I worked a civilian job with a man who had been a "RLO" in the Army. RLOs are "Real Live Officers". They are commissioned by congress and different from Warrant Officers. This man knew Jimmy also. He told me of having to go down town to get Jimmy out of jail once. Jimmy's transgression: Exceeding the speed limit across a bridge on a SKATEBOARD! He said Jimmy probably wouldn't have gone to jail if he hadn't of smarted off to the cop.

We had guests at our compound once. Two beautiful round-eye blond girls. A pretty rare sight in Korea. I don't remember why or for what they were there, but they were and the company had a Bar-B-Que. Jimmy talked me into digging up a mess of earthworms with him, washing them off, putting them on a couple of plates like spaghetti, then eating them live in the presence of the two beautiful blond girls. We did it. I sometimes wonder if that is where the worms mentioned in this previous post came from instead of eating out in the ville.

Another time Jimmy bet me five dollars that he could piss over this eight foot concrete wall that surrounded the court yard to our officers lounge. I took him up on his bet. (Has anyone ever told you to never take a man up on his bet?) Anyhow after the bet was made, Jimmy took a cup and pee'd into it, and then he tossed the cup full of pee over the wall.

Jimmy was ready to be paid. I was arguing with him that he didn't piss over the wall. While we were arguing I looked down at the ground and saw a small frog. I picked the frog up and said, "What half do you want Jimmy?"

He wouldn't choose, so I stuck the head into my mouth and severed the poor little frog in half with my teeth. Then I handed Jimmy his half. He stuck it into his mouth and began to chew.

The previous worm spectacle and the story the Navy recruiter told me about the Navy Seals having a live lizard for lunch were probably part of my inspiration besides not wanting to be outdone by Jimmy or having to pay a bet I didn't think I owed.

I was acting like I was chewing my part waiting for the spectacle to be over so I could go behind the building and spit it out when Jimmy swallowed his. After he swallowed the awful he started to approach me with a silly look on his face and his mouth wide open to put me in a lip lock referred to as a CAV KISS. I wasn't interested in receiving any cav kiss so I quickly got my un-swallowed frog in position and ready. When Jimmy's mouth was a mere inches from mine and ready to lock on, I spit the remainder of my frog into Jimmy's mouth. He backed off with a moments look of surprise and then swallowed my portion down too. Everybody laughed and we went about our business.

Our officer's lounge had a round fireplace built in the center of it that didn't work. There was a chimney above, but any attempts to have a fire simply filled the room up with smoke. Shortly after Jimmy swallowed my portion of the frog he went into the lounge and soon leaned over the fireplace puking his guts up. I guess it was all he could handle. From then on the fire place was referred to as the frog pond.

Jimmy still not wanting to be one upped came back around and started a wrestling altercation with me that ended with him punching me in the gut and causing me to also puke. After that I guess he felt vindicated and he pretty much left me alone.

That wasn't the end of the frog legacy though...

At another company function I was approached by a couple of enlisted guys. One of them had a frog in his hand and asked, "Sir, is it true that you eat frogs?"

I said, "Yea, but I only eat them when I get to share them with somebody else. Which one of you wants the other half?"

Neither of them wanted it. I told them, "Then I won't have any either."

One of them then agreed that he'd take the other half. I then took the frog and repeated the previous process, but when offered the other half both declined so I spit my half on the ground and told them, "Sorry, this is a shared adventure."

There is one more frog story that deserves its own "Tall Tale". It takes the cake, but I'll have to get around to it another time.

After being newly wed I brought my young bride over to a Korean Army buddy's house to visit and meet for the first time. This was long after my born again experience and my repenting of every bad deed I'd ever done. He had an eight year old daughter whom he put up to mentioning to my wife, "Dave eats frogs." Be careful what you do... cause there is a scripture that says, "For nothing is hidden, except to be revealed; nor has anything been secret, but that it would come to light." Mark 4:22

If the silence can protect the innocent then perhaps it is better left unsaid, but if the revelation can help heal the innocent and help them to be set free then the guilty deserve no protection. Me included, though I am grateful for the mercy I have been shown and have known.


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